sway

one of my fondest days...dec 24 '06..not to mention one favourite picture of me taken by my cousin..a stolen shot..murag dili sah...pero stolen kaau nah..it reminds me of how i suffered from anorexia..hahaha....i was so thin that i was 15lbs underweight of my average weight...but my illness didnt stop me from doing the thigs that i love to do...i tried to survive...fought it and i was victorious..i made it..but right now..im like rily bloating to the bones.wahaha..i ganed more than 10lbs but its ok...i still have what it takes whether im fat or not....tho i confess...im missing my thin body badly./..and im planning to lose weight again since im going back to skul already...weeee.....pray for my success..haha...taya io...

light my fire..

today is what i call dull...............dull?!?!coz early in the morning i fought with ching..we had a misunderstanding..coz i woke up late in his place and he has to prepare his things for their gig in moalboal...so whats up with that?his complaining that he has no time to sleep already.coz whenver his eyes catches out the sun,he cant go back to sleep anymore..and he needs to rest but bcoz i woke up late, he has to stay awake and wait for hours until theyd finally go to moalboal...i went home so sleepy...got no time to change my clothes and i slept...i woke up lunch time and i received a couple of messages from my boo...telling me that their on their way to moalboal and reminding me to eat my lunch..which is somethin very sweet of him everday...but i didnt replied..im still mad at him...so he went on sending messages why i aint replying..so i gave in..i replied after 2 hrs..asking him wer the hell he is right now..and how his doing..i really wanna go with him so badly........but he wont let me coz bati ang accomodation...and dugay na au mi sige sabot na kuyug mi moalboal...pero karun the chance is already there....iya pajud gi pakawalan...i hate him......he told me its sme opening of a dive shop of some governor..i think its gwen..i dunno..the hell i care...i so hate him..but he promised that hell take me out in a date wen he gets back...he promised hed buy me three pieces of shwarma..well...all for that shwarma..antusun nako ako mingaw nya..hahaii......theyll not stay long there...theyll be back tomorow...

i miss my boo so badly..and now...while im making this blog..nag text mi..atay au...wa daw signal..mwala2x...8pm daw ila tukar....havent seen him played in a long time nsd...

booooooooooooooo.....................asa nka??im bored....................

skankinbrews live in outpost

yesterday morning while ching and i were exchanging snores,kian called....it was an emergency but i was too lazy to talk to him over the phone so i told my bro to let him call back after one hour..when i got up..my bro told me that we will perform that night at outpost..its a new resto bar..and i dig the place sooo much...the ambiance is so perfect and its a nice place to chill...so i panicked..it was my first gig with skankin brews..and i still didnt memorize our songs especially the compos..so it freaked me out...damn...so kian called again and told me ate bevz of urbal texted him that well be the front band for jr; kilat's performance at outpost that night..that we will have our practice first at 6pm and there is a big problem..we dont have a drummer..coz our drummer has other plans for that day..so i begged ching if he cud play with us..he wasnt really sure coz theyll have their practice also that night for their gig in moalboal the next day..so were so freaking out again...we cant do nuthin so we went acoustic...no drums and keyboards..only percos,guitar and bass..but God is so good that night...having problems with our drummer..and no one to play the drums foir us...BODUY.....BODUY3X....thank YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! we asked him if he could jam with us as our perco..but he insisted that its best if hed play the drums...and it was an intense relief for us....but i was still shivering and shaking..i felt so cold...i only memorized few of the songs but i received good feedbacks from the audience after our performance,..why i should be feeling at ease with my burdens that night..somethin unprofessional...lol!!!the show went fine and then enjoyed our band privileges afterwards..ching catch up after their practice...and went to his place drunk at around 2am..i slept in his crib and went home at 6am...still sleepy and still having my hang over..

our 5th monthsary..sept28 '06

it was sept 28 '06.. we celebrated our 5th monthsary..one of our special moments together..our plan for that night was to go out and eat dinner and drinking session after...life is a total bummer without red horse and without each other to savor the taste of it..lol..our plan was to eat at sunburst since we never had the chance to eat there in our 5months together..we dont seemingly have the same taste of food coz he doesnt eat vegies like i do..fruits,shwarma,fruit salad nor drink thirsty..unlike him, i dont eat pizza,lechon baboy&choclates..i dont have that big appetite like his..one thing we have in common and will always be is our obssession with chinese food..oh...we always crave for it..if were together ud probably see us at harbor city or dimsum break most of the time..and oh..we both love spaghetti and burger and fries...specially in mcdo and jobi..and ice cream not to mention...he starts to love eating at waffletime especially their tuna salad..

so anywz...lwhen we were about to get ready for our date, i told him im so feeling chinese that day.instead of going to sunburst we decided to eat at harbor city...and i was so gurly that night..i really prepared for that night..i bought some clothes just to look good that night..and he was so amazed when he saw me sitting on the bench waiting for him..he didnt even recognize me..lol..so there in harbor we ate and he was so full..he finished my food since i wasnt totally hugnry that night...then after there we headed to watsons to buy my lip balm and bronzing powder then we bought our favorite tuna salad waffle(too bad..no more na!)so we bought ice cream instead.after licking our ice creams,we headed straight to my house and we had a drinking session with my bro and our friend in my room..then got so drunk..and as the usual slept..oh i fgorgot..i threw up..the first time i threw up drinking with him..and trhe next day we woke up around 11am in the morning already..still feeling sleepy but he has to go home coz he has to go with his grandma that day to buy some groceries...

the night of reconciliation..

so so so....i replied..then i didnt notice we wer already exchaning sms for hours already..and until he asked me if he could see me that day..may be beczuse we had a good conversation thru our messsages, why i agreed on his invitation and so we met later that night.were still friends..i think its better if we remain it that way..i dont want to lose all that we had built..bisan ang friendship lng ang mabilin ok ra(hala nagbinisaya si manang!lol!so yeah.we met at turtles.i took a cab and while i was in the cab, i was really nervous..its been weeks time i last saw him..and i was laughing..thinking what he looks like right now..he was already there when i arrived..sitting in the sofa with andre..theyre were pretty amazed coz trhey said i lose a bit of my wieght.yeah of korz..what wud u expect!and i sat beside him.feeling damn uncomfty.i cant even look straight him in the eyes......i was acting odd..its like my actions are limited.i stutter whenever i talk..i cant even talk anymore.i was speechless..shy and all..im like a turtle hiding inside my shell so hesitant to go out..we went to backyard to check things out..i went with him and sum friends..we planned that night that well have some drinking session..but backyard was too crowded..a lot of bands wer waiting for their turns to practice..so ching and our friends just ate their and we headed back to turtles after.and there we drank our fave drink..red horse.quench ur thirst..lol..that time i wanna go home early..and ching already kept asking if i wanted to go home coz hell go home with me nalang..pa drop lang sya ila..so then we decided to go home nalang..we took a cab.while we were in the cab silence was in the air..we were inches apart from each other.no single word was uttered.but not so long, he spoke to me..asking how im doing and if i wanna go home straight na..but i dunno whats gotten into me why i answered him no..and he told me if its ok if i we can go to his place..and again...i was so acting weird and dumb..when i said okay..to make it clear for you guys reading this..my mind was not occupied with whats going to happen that night...it was totallt empty..even going to his place was unexpected..when we arrived in his place, we ate ngohiong..then went to his room after..i was lying beside him..i was kinda tipsy already..and he was drunk..i closed my eyes and he started talking.he asked me about us..and i didnt talked back..it made my eyes wide shut when he softly ask me if he can kiss sme..i sarcastically ask him..why shud i let u kiss me..were not together anymore..but in my mind, id really want him to do that...i found him seducing me already...and i miss him doing that to me...at one sec it made me laugh. i turned to look at him..face to face..then it started again with that one perfect kiss..the kiss of reconciliation..and finally we reconciled...i forgave him and i tend to forget everything..the reasons why at one point in our life, we broke up..we almost lost everything that we have all planned out...but that night we wanted to start somethin a new..another chapter is awaiting us..we wnated to change everything..our attitudes..and not minding those people who keeps on bugging our lives...acting innocent as if they have done nothing wrong...that nught...it was a new beginning of another journey...and we promised that whatever happens, well never be apart again..we wont leave each other thru thick and thin...thAT night happiness was again felt..i realized love has never left us behind...love has brought us back..and that well try our very best to keep it that way forever..stupid as it may sound but thios is foh real.............and now....im going to take back what i have lost once....... US...

im a total weak-kneed bummer..

last sept 25, a tuesday..i already arrived here in cebu with my mind full of illumination and brightness..so clean and pure..and then i said to myself..welcome home sensation...but then..at one point..i stopped and thought of something..or is it someone?!i took in and let out a deep audible breath in relief or weariness ..i guess li have been missing someone right now..if he just didnt text me the night i was still sailing for cebu..he said he wanted to see me as soon as i get my ass back in cebu,,he begged but i never stood any chance..never answered him back..i was reluctant of seeing him..whats the point of going to lanao then huh?its because of him stupid!and then im already emotionally recovered and then now u think id still wanna see him after all those traumatic warth of love..thats prolly silly of me..to continue..so my dad's best bud fetched us at the port and took us home..i went directly to my room,unpack my things,charged my phone(i rily wanted to get rid of this phone badly.......of some fucking defects!just like me..!),took a shower.i look so gross and eeww...way greasy..laid myself to bed and slowly my engines wer going down..i slept..i was very tired..it was around 8am when suddenly my phone rang.it was only a miscall..but i still i got up and checked who just buzzed me out from my sleep..i felt a sudden wonder..it was ching again..its the second time he has done that in waking me up so early..he had two unread messages in my inbox..asking how my trip was and the other if im already home..i know ching..his too lazy to get up early in the morning..hedprolly be awake in the afternoon..so it was an amazement to me thinking how nice of him to text me so early in the morning which he unsually does..but i was costive to reply..i dont want to start havng conversations with him again...id rather continue being blind of the possiblities than settle things again with him..but there is somethin inside me thats telling me to do something about it..about what....about the both of you..i wanted to cry...my emotions andd thoughts were fighting..its all in the mind franz..pls dont get easily carried away..but ok3x...to shorten up the story..yeah right...i replied....eeeeeee.........i dunno..i guess im just missing him a lot...tho it was so mean of him hurting me so much..ok call me a mealy-mouthed or way pathetic,weak,weirdie,unwary,unweildy, unwordly,not worthy,having or displaying little intellectual or emotional complexity or value....call me those...but i admit...im weak..im not strong enough to conquer my weaknesses..yeah im dumb...just acting that im not one..i wept for days..call me a cry baby..i have a soft heart..and its him..that makes all my hardships dig in to my soft spot...im not obssess ok?or am i?life until now is too selfish that it wont give me reasons why im so into him..so crazy over him..im bnot like this b4?i was strong,high-spirited,optimistic,full of postive vibrations,confident,determined..i was the bomb..but now....shit..love has turned me into a monster..a slave..a dictator,conceited...totally a bummer...

too many reasons but aren't enough..

i never searched nor wished nor prayed nor dreamt nor hoped and even longed badly for true love..as to speak..i therefore waited..reasons why i have always love the person behind the name of "BRIAN CHING".

1. i love you April 28 '06..

2.i love you coz March 19 '06,u wer the first guy to appreciate the beauty of my dreadlocks the first time our eyes met.but im sorry i never paid any attention at all when u said that..

3,i love you when after a month we accidentally have seen each other at talent folio again.

4.i love you that at last we wer being introduced to one another.

5.i love you when u said that ur name was Brian Ching.but u want me to call u Ching instead..

6. i love you coz u wer really acting stupid in front of me when we wer squatting on the side walk.

7. i love you coz u wer the one who first opened the conversation.

8. i love you coz u rily made me so bashful as u wer talking.

9. i love you coz u made me more bashful and diffident as u wer staring at me with that sexy eyes of urs..

10.i love u coz while i stared back at u, i realized that you look like Johnny Depp's bad and rugged side..

11.i love you when u laughed about the thought that i had..

12.i love you coz of

ur

being thick-faced when u asked from me share a load..what r u thinkin dude!!we just met..its crap..

13.i love you when you asked for my number but i refused to give it to u.

14.i love you coz of the way u begged for it.word of that night"PLEASE MAM!".

15.i love you coz even that i wAlked out coz i just cant take

ur

being so foolish, u shouted my name and told me to pls stay..

16. i love you when i rily cant do nothing..that night u wer rily something..

17. i love you when u offered me to sit beside you..

18.i love you when you joked that varicose veins aren’t for sale...

19.i love you coz u rily made me follow what u told me..and sat beside you..

20.i love you when again u never seem to give up asking for my number.

21. i love you coz i rily can see in

ur

eyes that u rily wanted it so badly..wat a dude!

22.i love you coz i gave in with that cranky charm of urs and i guess i just cant do anythin abwt it.so i jst gave it 2u..

23.i love you coz it has been weeks that i gave u my number.i was having this feeling of using my globe sim instead of my smart, while i was checkin on my phone buk.i saw ur name, it made me smile..guess i have been missing this you-r-so-fresh-and-who-do-u-think-u-r-guy!!!lol!

24. i love you coz from the first message that i sent u..it was a silly and korny mushy quote..

25.i love you when not less than 10 seconds, u immediately replied...

26. i love you coz of the way u replied to my message i can say u wer shocked and excited at the same time..

27. i love you coz u made me feel the same way too.

28.i love you the first time u invited me out to drink with u...

29.i love you coz until that time i was still too shy to hang out with you..

30.i love you coz u wer asking me humbly tho i made the stupidest alibi that i cud ever think of.

31.i love you coz u just cant let me say no.so there i went..

32. i love you coz u wer the first guy that i have laid my eyes on that night.

33.i love you coz that night was the best night that we ever had together.

34.i love you coz from that day on..u never miss out any day texting me..

34. i love you coz u always tell me that u miss me.

35.i love you coz u always tell me that u long for me.

36.i love you coz u always tell me that u love me..

37.i love you coz u always tell me that u aint playing..

38.i love you coz u always tell me that i was rily something.

39.i love you coz u always tell me to believe you..

40.i love you coz u rily made me believe you..

41.i love you coz u trusted me.

42.i love you coz u always tell me to trust u.

43.i love you coz u always tell me you care.

44.i love you coz u rily shown me that u rily do care.

45.i love you coz u keep remindin me to eat my meals.

46.i love you coz u always tell me i dont need to undergo on a diet.

47.i love you coz u always tell me

ur

still that sexy gal to me...

48.i love you coz u always complement me with something everyday.

47. I love you coz u just don’t run out of complements each day.

48.i love the way u hug me.

49.i love you when u do it tightly and gently..

50.i love the way u kiss me.

51.i love you when u always do that to me.

52.i love the way u steal some kiss..

53. i love you coz u rily never missed..

54.i love the way u hold my hand..

55.i love you coz u just cant let go of it.

56.i love the way you play with my fingers.

57.i love you coz of how u let me linger..

58.i love the way you tickle my palm..

59.i love you coz of the way u kiss me by the hand..

60.i love the way the first time u asked me if its ok to call me baby..

61. i love you when i said yes u can call me

ur

baby..

62.i love you when i asked you can u be my bABy too..

63.i love you when u call me baby gal

64.i love you when all i know that

ur

my baby boy.

65.i love you when u call me

ur

pretty rudegwal..

66.i love you when i call u the first time my ghetto rudebwoi...

67.i love you coz of

ur

sweetness..

68.i love you coz

ur

sweetness is rily endless..

69.i love the way u smile..

70.i love the way u laugh..

71.i love the way u look at me..

72.i love the way you tease me..

73.i love the way i tease u back.

74. i love the way we tickle each other..

75.i love the feeling, its like laughing forever..

76.i love you every time you ask me out..

77.i love you coz u wer my red horse partner..

78.i love you coz u never ran out of smoke.

79.i love the way u offer me a piece of our favorite marlboro.

80.i love the way you light and puff

ur

weed..

81.i love the way u get stoned ..

82.i love the way you get drunk..

83.i love the way u get crunk..

84.i love the way you dance..

85.i love the it when u ask me to dance with you..

86.i love the way you wrap

ur

hands around my waist.

87.i love the way u kiss me in my lips and how it taste.

88.i love the way every time u make faces..

89.i love the way you talk..

90.i love you coz

ur

always there to listen.

91.i love the way you swear & promise..

92.i love you when u always tell me that

ur

going to fulfill all of them..

93.i love the way u hit the drums.

94.i love you coz totally

ur

the beat that my heart plays..

95.i love the way you take me to your gigs..

96.i love you coz u never want me not to go with you.

97.i love you coz even if u get busy playing on the stage

98.i love you for that coz u never miss to look and stare at me..

99.i love you coz u boast me to

ur

friends.

100.i love you even tho its annoying, u always tell me

ur

just proud so proud havin me.

101.i love you whenver u ask me if u can visit me in the house..

102.i love you coz even if were a bridge apart, u always tell me distance cud nver make us part.

103.i love you when u ask me if u cud sleep beside me.

104.i love the way u smile when i answer u back"of korz baby".

105.i love the way u sleep..

106.i love the way you dream so deep..

107.i love the way you embrace me.

108.i love the way you seduce me..

109.i love the way you whisper i love you and goodnight in my ears.

110.i love it that sometimes it brings me tears.

111.i love the way u tempt me..

112.i love the way u speak into my eyes..

113.i love the way u talk with that husky sexy voice of urs.

114.i love you when all that comes out from it are the sweetest words that i cud ever imagine..

115.i love you when u start caressing my body..

116.i love the way you play with it..

117.i love the way u get naughty..

118.i love you coz

ur

just a hottie..

119.i love the way you make love to me.

120.i love the way you soothe me..

121.i love the way you breath.

122.i love the way you moan softly and heavily.

123.i love the way you say my name..

124.i love the way you want me to say

ur

name too.

125.i love the way when u start to put some fire on me..

126.i love the way you spread and burn it all over me..

127. i love the way u catch

ur

breath..

128.i love you coz u want me to share

ur

breath with you..

129.i love the way u end up hugging me tenderly..

130. i love the way when

ur

still asleep snoring like a pig..

131.i love the way when i still find myself locked up in

ur

mighty arms..

132.i love the way u greet me good morning..

133.i love the way u greet me with

ur

soft and tender kisses.

134.i love the way u play with my hair..

135.i love the way u lick me..

136.i love it that i wudnt want you stop and the moment to end..

137.i love the way you fight with me..

138.i love you when you alwys tell me ud the love that u have for me.

139.i love the way you argue with me.

140.i love the way you keep asking questions..

141.i love the way you never run out of questions...

142.i love the way you tell me to settle the problem.

143.i love you when u always tell me the things that I have done wrong..

144.i love you coz u always tend to teach me and stand me corrected..

145.i love you coz u always tell me ull never give up on me..

146.i love you coz u want this to last forever.

147.i love you the first day you introduced me to

ur

family.

148.i love you coz u never feared my family when i introduced you to them..

149.i love you of

ur

dreadlockz..

150.i love you coz

ur

rily cute with it..

151.i love the way when u introduced me to

ur

friends..

152.i love you when u said u love me more than

ur

friends..

153.i love you when you take me to food trippin..

154.i love you when u ask me to sit or lay beside you sound trippin..

155.i love the way you play the guitars..

156.i love the way you want me to sing for you..

157.i love the way when u sing with me.

158.i love you even if sometimes

ur

rily r out of tune..

159.i love you when u always tell me that u love my voice..

160.i love you when u said to me that

ur

like talking to an angel..

171.i love you when u feed me if i dont want to eat..

172.i love the way you say "open

ur

mouth baby..the monster is coming"..

173.i love the way u send me to work..

174.i love the way you wait for me even for hours..

175.i love the way u ask me out to eat spaghetti and burger with you..

177.i love the way you buy me my favorite sundae twirl in mcdo or in jobi when im hungry..

178.i love you eventho u dont eat vegies and fruits...

179.i love you eventho u dont eat shawarma..

180.i love you eventho you don’t drink thirsty..

181.i love you eventho u dont eat fruit salad..

182.i love you eventho

ur

a lazy boy..

183.i love you eventho

ur

a Lola’s boy.

184.i love you coz u wash&

ur

own clothes..

185.i love you coz

ur

always there when i have dismenoria..

186.i love you coz

ur

always there when im sick..

187. i love you coz

ur

always there when i have problems with my family..

188.i love you coz

ur

always there to support me with the stuffs that i do..

189.i love you coz u play basketball with me..

190.i love you coz u still pay thumb wrestling with me..

191.i love you coz u always encurage me to learn how to play nba 2k6 in ps2 so that id be able to play with u..

192.i love you coz u still play wrestling with me..

193.i love you coz u still play boxing with me..

194.i love you when u keep complaining with everything.

195.i love you coz

ur

my crying shoulder.

196.i love you coz

ur

there to kiss and wipe away my tears.

197.i love you coz u remove my morning star everytrime i wake up.

198.i love you coz u r my negra daot..

199.i love you coz im

ur

baby baboy..

200.i love you when u chased me tho t'was raining heavily.

201.i love you coz never get tired of me.

202.i love you coz u r the music of my life..

203.i love you coz u never stop playing on my mind..

204.i love you coz u dress so well and neat.

205.ilove you coz u smell so good that it tickles my senses..

206.i love you coz of

ur

simplicity.

207.i love you coz u r my "the answer"..my own allen iverson..

208.i love you coz u r my only rastaman..

209.i love you coz i am

ur

only rasta chick!

210.i love you coz u look sexy with

ur

printed but cute boxers..

211.i love you coz

ur

my only negra...

212.i love you coz u always make me feel that im the most beautiful gurl inside and out.

213.i love you coz u you make me feel that im important to u.

214.i love you coz u make me feel that im the smartest and brightest gf in the world tho it obvious that im not..

215.i love you coz u make me feel that i am more deserving than

ur

past gfs.

216.i love you coz u make me feel that im sexy tho we both know that im gettin fat..

217.i love you coz u make me feel that im strong and tough when i have problems..

218.i love you coz u always make me feel that im the luckiest gal ever tho i know im not.

219.i love you coz u make me feel that

ur

lola likes me for you..but yeah..

ur

actually right..i love

ur

lola 2.

220.i love you coz u make me see and act the real me.

221.i love you coz u love me for what and who i am..

222.i love you coz u accepted me despite of my childish and immature attitude.

223.i love you coz u have always been a true person to me..

224.i love you coz eventho i always caught u lying..u still managed to confess abwt it and apologize..

225.i love you coz u have always been a gentleman to me..

226.i love you everytime i wipe

ur

sweat in

ur

body..

227.i love you everytime u sleep talk..

ur

so adorable..

228.i love you when u act like a lil child..

229. i love you when u try to repeat everything i said and do.

230.i love you when u tell me jokes coz they rily are so funny..

231.i love you coz of how you fart or u make otot..

232.i love you when u tell me that u wanna go libang2x..

233.i love you when i blow in

ur

ears.

234.i love you coz

ur

so ticklish..gilkanun au ka..

235.i love you when u reminisce and tell me about our happy and sad moments together.

236. i love you when u never forget about our monthsary.

237. i love you coz u have a very kind heart..

238.i love you coz

ur

so humble..

239.i love you coz

ur

so down to earth..

240.i love you coz u think positive tho

ur

havin problems..

241.i love you coz u made me open my eyes that i can still love deeply depsite of the heartaches that i have been thru..

242.i love you coz u just love taking stolen shots of me..

243.i love you coz u made me realize how wondeful life is with you..

244,i love you coz u always tell me that u want me to be

ur

wife someday.

245.i love you coz u always tell me that well try our best to have a happy family.

246.i love you coz u always tell me that

ur

proud of me..

247.i love you coz slowly

ur

changing into someone responsible and good right now..

248.i love you even if we break up or part, ud always tell me that nobdy can replace me in

ur

heart..serious ka?

249.i love coz u know how to place urself..separate the serious stuff from fooling around.

250.i love you coz what

ur

still the Ching that i once knew up to now..

251.i love you coz

ur

never ashamed or afraid showin

ur

feeling to me..

252.i love you even if u dont give me anything i dont mind..

253.i love you coz

ur

not materialistic..

254.i love you coz

ur

God fearing..

255.i love you eventho u dont take

ur

hat off when inside the church.

256.i love you eventho u always promise me well go to church bt u always postpone it..

257.i love you everytime i smell

ur

underarms..

258.i love u wen u make lambing to me..

259.i love you when everybody hates you..

260.i love you even if the world turns its back at u..

261.i love u more than

ur

friends love u..

262.i love you more than anythin in diz world.

263.i love you coz u inspire me with a lot of things.

264.i love you coz

ur

ur

not just almost perfect but r the most perfect guy for me.

265.i love you coz u whenever i have a bad day,

ur

always there to make it good..

267.i love you coz even if i didnt look,search,wish or pray that someone like you wud come into my life, destiny brought us together.

268.i lovr you coz u believe that there is always a reason why God gave us the chance to share our life together.

269.i love you..oh I almost forgot..i love you coz u wer always the one who accompanies me to the hospital if I get sick or somethings terribly wrong with me..remmber the pregnancy kit?hehehe..u wer there all throughout the day..

270.i love you coz u made me do this list of 271 reasons why i love you..

271.and lastly, i love you coz u r the man behind the name Brian Ching who is the reason of all these reasons why Frances Villanueva is rily grateful for.coz baby, u are my every reason in this world why i continue to live and love..cz of u i have found,understood and felt the meaning of true love..YOU!!

a chip off the old block..

I promised to myself as soon as I step my feet over the shores of lanao...i will try my very best to forget about everything that has happened back in cebu..Particularly with ching.. it was a hard decision for me though. but i guess this is the only way to find out whats really in store for me in the future...and in the heading days...this is one reason also why i got convinced coming home to lanao...to heal all the wounds that have emotionally injured me. That left out a fresh open cut wound that i must completely administer as something fatal and tetanal...as i arrived in lanao...while i was walking down and out from the ship..I took a deep breath...and faked a smile. This is a new day for me...a day that will be forever stick to my ass....the day when I went away...

My first day in lanao..I then made some rules and restrictions for me to at least carry myself from justification and motives of settling down in lanao for a while and for good. may be doing so would help me assist of making things better and for my slow recovery from the pain the break up had left me...im not expecting nor hoping that going away from him would be the right cure for me from gaining back something I have seemingly lost.

Ill

just leave all of this to Him...

Moving along with the rules that shall be left stood and abided...one restriction and the most important thing to keep on something within my limits, is to stop our communcation..yes...avoiding and disallowing myself from texting nor calling him...it wud be best if we stop keeping in touch and just continue with each other's priorities...but what the fuck!!its like no matter how i try not to text him, id really end up at one second sending a sms already to him...darn...what can i do,....i aint over him yet...the first two days away from each other...we wer still texting...endless exchanging of messages...it just keeps coming on and on..But it’s no longer the ordinary way of texting...unlikely before, we'd send out at least 200 sms daily. Or more. globe would probably be feeling sorry right now with their unlimitext promo if they happen to know about this..lol!we still are open about the things between us though a slight touch of boundary has already placed in between.we don’t really talk about mushy stuffs already..More or less we talk about the current incident specially the break up..We still talk about how things went wrong ...why it must end this way..Why things got so complicated. Why did it turn all so bad, the possibilities of getting back together and its chances...we still text about how we’ve been missing those times before. Those times when we wer still so happy in love...even if we argue with such things, just a short talk over about it, it’s then settled out..We still give out a reason of these drooling thoughts...that’s why i have set our texting within its limit..As likely as a hundred i suppose..That wouldn’t really give us a lot of time to speak out our minds right? That made me realized hey...I cant move on if we'd continue fetching out hearts like this way..That’s why im having this resolution of just to stop texting him as much as possible..No messages for that Mr. o McDonald.2 days of unbearable opinions still not arriving in its nearest and potential conclusion...and the night of the 2nd day. Before i went to sleep. I promised to myself that i aint texting him no more and im totally over him..and that i wud never ever look at his damn number again...and yes i already deleted it...but is it on my mind?and i slept..Senseless devour...

And on the third day..He rose again!!lol!!what the...hehe...

and on the third day...an annoying sound woke my sleepy head out....and i turned my drowsy eyes unto my phone wondering who the fuck was calling me so early in the morning...and when i stared at the number closely it looked familiar..and i was surprised when i later on knew it was ching's number...see...it never comes out in my mind..he called me..it made my eyebrows raised. its a miracle...somethin that he has never done before in our 4 months together..and now 9am in the morning his calling me and for what reaSon..it left me wondering and then i received a message from him..Telling that his phone's not working anymore..It got broken. He said he was drunk last night and he forgot that he was holding his phone while he was going up by the stairs; suddenly he heard some crashing noise falling into the ground. And then he found his phone on the floor broke. And I replied asking him. And y tell these things to me...as if I can do anything about it...and then he replied. His rily worried coz he can no longer text me. And that he'd miss me if he can’t text me. while I was reading that message...I was laughing...sarcastically asking him then...oh really...can no longer text me or text ur x gf...miss me or miss ur x'gf..and the usual...he denied it!!AGAIN!!!oh i just hate the both of them...i just want to stamp on their fuckin dumb dick heads....i hate ching coz u blinded me...u lied to me..u never get to notice my feelings that

ur

already hurting me..and now

ur

always denying it..that

ur

not texting her..i maybe a stupid wretched gurl but i aint stupid for you to fool dude...and ur x gf who thinks shes pretty but feeling pretty na ang naong murag head title sa mga salida na korean novelas....abi nimu ug character sah?di oi....ehehehe....if you just paid respect to the present then things will never go wrong between me and ching...ur somethin from his past and im somethin in his present...cant u just totally bury urself?coz no matter how i bury u?ud always come back and ruin our life...and now the case is over...everything’s already facing to its end....